How well do you know your horse?

Something I’ve come to learn over the years is that getting closer to the truth of what’s going on in my life almost always makes life easier, a whole lot less confusing, and way more fun and I’m all up for that. Truth is all about balance, in every sense. So here’s a post about that...

For some of us, horses are a huge part of our life, so it makes sense to me to get to the truth of them, especially when things don't feel as if they are working out so well.

Let's be honest, most of us just want to have a nice time with our horses, whatever that means to each of us. It could be watching them eat grass or three-day eventing, or anything in between; but what we are ultimately looking for is compliance, isn't it? The horse joining in willingly with the things we want to do, because horses that don’t tend to cause us a problem. Sometimes a rather large, dangerous one.

It's not to say there aren’t those of us who like to feel we are fostering a partnership in which the horse is a willing and happy participant, but the truth is that, when all’s said and done, someone needs to be “in charge” of the expedition, or “the leader of the gang” or “in control” or however you want to word it. I like to not shy away from these sometimes evocative words because there's value in them if we can break it down a bit, and because avoidance of anything usually isn't unhelpful.

Over the years, I've come to translate the above words to simply mean that in our presence, the horse should be able to feel understood, secure, and guided with as much consistency and clarity as we can muster at our current level of understanding. We owe it to horses to learn about and understand them as they are.

Many modern-day methodologies that come from the perspective of understanding and fair treatment of the horse in training place a great deal of emphasis on the horse as an autonomous, emotional being, with a personality, placing value in choice and forging a relationship through space giving, positive reinforcement, praise, repetition, consistency, boundary setting and so on. All good stuff. However, I often see the physical body state either left out of the equation or misunderstood within the equation.

Studies show how horses behave with one another, and how we can relate that to our interactions with them… Plenty more good stuff, and at the same time, highly subjective, of course. Because really, who knows what it’s like to be a horse? I know I don’t. I can only make my best guess, and I mainly don’t waste my time trying to any great degree because I find that while I’m doing that, my attention is taken away from what’s actually in front of me and all the wonderful things I can be learning from that.

The good news, though, is that even when I don't know what to do, there’s always one thing I don’t have to guess about, and that is the state of the horse’s body and balance standing in front of me.

There is no subjectivity there, no story, no interpretation, just the truth in action, and from there, the horse will usually show me where I need to go next. If we take our questions to the horse, they always give us their answer if we are listening and observing from a place of curiosity.

It does the horse a great disservice to assume he is governed purely by his mind and emotions. In fact, unlike us, who spend most of our time being governed by our thoughts and emotions, the horse doesn’t carry an abstract sense of “I” that needs protecting, and isn’t busy maintaining an identity or guarding an idea of himself, like us, which makes him beautifully non-complex in so many ways.

Instead, the horse is conditioned almost entirely around the survival of the body. In that sense, he experiences life far more through his body and senses, and far less through the kind of 'thought soup' we tend to live in.

Am I relating to the horse through an idea, story, or assumption in my mind? Or am I truly seeing, interacting with and learning from what is actually in front of me right now?

This question can really help us meet the horse in ways that make more sense to him and support him in ways he can genuinely relate to and understand.

If we begin to see Bob now, as first and foremost a body-mind system, with no separation between the two, it becomes easier to understand that we can never be working with just a body or a mind, but instead, with a deeply connected neurological system, constantly sending information back and forth in response to stimulus, sensation, and experience in the moment. And then he’s also Bob with all his unique character traits. :)

Building a partnership, for me, is about teaching a horse how he can ‘be’ when he is in the company of another species. How to live in an alien world that, let’s face it, I have imposed on him.

Here are a few examples of reliable truths that can be referenced to enable us to help the horse in ways that are meaningful and helpful to him: Getting over the idea that the horse is anything other than what it actually is, once and for all.

1.     He is a prey animal. He is 100% reactive, and his world is governed by the real possibility of being eaten. I might understand that nothing in his current world is likely to actually eat him (unless you are a horse in Africa), but I cannot and should not attempt to override thousands of years of hard-wired genetics in this respect. So now I am left with nothing but to understand, respect and accept this as a fact of 'horse' and start from this acceptance. Now I can help.

2.      He is a herd animal, meaning he finds safety in the company of others and preferably his own species if at all possible. Why? Because if you are in a group, there’s a chance someone else might get eaten instead of you. Now I can help.

3.     He is a flight animal, meaning he prefers to run away from danger rather than confront it head-on. If you’re getting kicked or bitten, or reared and ‘spooked’ the chances are it’s because there is no perceived escape route for the horse in the presence of a perceived threat. Might your presence be in some way contributing to that perceived threat simply by not understanding? Now I can help.

I can't help the horse to not be a horse, but I can help him with what to do with his horseness :)

It makes sense that if we are going to train our horses effectively both in-hand and under saddle, not to walk all over us, barge us out of the way, drag us about, refuse to do stuff or leave when they feel like it, we need to get focused and truthful about what a horse is and what’s really going on rather than making up nonsense about it.  Nonsense can be fun for the mind and tack room banter, but it’s not going to help you have a better relationship with your horse because, well... It's nonsense!

Truth Bomb! Your horse does not have a plan.

The next time you’re describing your horse’s behaviour, or what is apparently going through his mind, stop for a second and see if what you’re saying could possibly be true. You might be shocked, surprised or even confronted by the answer, and if you are, don't worry. This is the beginning of wonderful things to come.

If you can begin to do this, you’ll start to quiet some of the fictitious stories and assumptions the mind is always weaving; the very thing that is often blocking you from seeing the truth of your horse and being able to help him in the ways he needs.

Coming back to what is actually true in the moment, really matters because the present moment is the only place a horse ever lives, however 'yuck' it seems at the time. When you aren't there too you are perceived as confusion and confused horses always make for trouble.

From this place of truth, understanding becomes easier, and this is where effective and horse-friendly training can begin. But you’ve got to stop telling yourself stories that aren’t true first.

Understanding and respecting what the horse is before expecting him to respect and understand you is a key to freeing our human minds from the fantasy stories and, in so doing, making possible the relationships of our dreams.

Real horses are actually way more fun than the version we are making up in our heads. The one that often seems to let us down, but it's useful to understand what one really is first.

For more help with all of this business, check out more of my stuff :)

Maxine Kemp is a classical riding trainer and transformative life coach based in East Suffolk UK, who is dedicated to simplifying and demystifying the journey to greater peace well-being and empowerment for humans and their horses.

"It’s not supposed to be that difficult."

To find out more...

visit www.straightforwardequitation.co.uk

and www.maxinekempcoaching.com/equestrian

maxine@straightforwardequtation.co.uk

Tel : 07711 982445

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