I’ve been attempting to write this blog for a while now. I feel like there is something important to say but each time I try to extract it from my mind and make it into words it gets stuck. Although it feels important I can't even seem to put a description to it so what is the blockage? I wonder if it’s because some things are just difficult to put into words. That and perhaps my inability to just let it be good enough and post it. Work in progress...
Anyway, never one to let any of that stop me I’ve given it a go…
Although I sat on my first horse at the age of 18 months old and spent an early childhood joyfully galloping about without a care in the world, at some point a thought began to formulate that I’d like to learn how to ride better and train horses. I wanted to do what I saw 'those' people doing. I decided I needed to know the things that ‘those’ people knew and set out on a journey to find the right person or peoples that could give me their knowledge or at least share it with me so that I could understand and do what they did and I think that over the years I did manage that to a degree. This approach and dogged determination did serve me to some degree and I eventually became a teacher as I then sought to give people the information that ‘I’ had.
It was however a great deal of hard work. A mission that I toiled at relentlessly, for years! I’m no quitter. I'm not sure if that hardship was a necessary part of my journey or if it could have been easier for me. I suspect probably not just because we are all a product of our pasts and who we are brought up to believe we are and until we get wise to that it’s all fairly inevitable really. If we know about that stuff early enough in life then perhaps we can make things a little easier for ourselves but if not then we just have to trudge whichever path is laid out in front of us, tripping over the inevitable roots and stones along the way but always picking ourselves up and forging ahead in the belief that every foot we put in front of the other will lead us to our destination. Won’t it?
When it to comes to riding I think most of us have an image or an idea of where we are now in terms of skill level. It may or may not be accurate in terms of how our horse feels about that but you can rest assured that they are always here to tell us the truth about that. But can we dare to have a dream of where we would really like to be and perhaps admit that it can often feel as if it falls a little short of our original hopes, despite our best “efforts”?
Over the years it's become my realisation that ‘who’ we are in our every-day life, how we think and feel about ourselves, what we believe and how we view the world and interact with others is not in any way disassociated from who we are when we interact with, ride and train our horses. How could it be? We are who we are and our world will always be reflecting that back to us. And when the world isn’t reflecting back to us what we think we’d like to see and experience we tend to assume that we must just need to 'do' better, 'find' better, 'be' better (insert your own) otherwise we must be somehow failing at life. Or we must compel someone or something else to change in order for us to feel like we doing ok.
I realise these days that I no longer resonate with the term ‘self-improvement’ when seeking how life might give me a better reflection, but rather I align with the terms ‘self-acceptance’ and ‘self-discovery’. Why? Because wishing I were someone or somewhere else or imagining that someone else has what I need or isn't giving me what I need, will never allow me to be fully present in the moment and to be fully present is the only way to engage with and ultimately know all of life. This is where true wisdom lives and where meaningful learning can occur. If we dare to linger in the present moment long enough even at its most uncomfortable, then we can see that every moment of life being reflected back at us is designed to help us learn what it is we need to learn. Being non-resistant to all of life whatever it throws at us, and this includes your horse and his less desirable at times behaviours, whether you like it or not is an opportunity gifted to us if we don’t immediately assume we ought to reject it.
Remaining endlessly open to enquiry in all situations with a firm eye on our target is key. Our target being, personal knowledge, experience and the truth. For all the great info others can share, no one else can give this to us this because it's always only OUR life experience and not someone else’s. This is the true power of being you. It's what will absolutely help you have the relationship you truly want with your horse, and allow you to receive help from others without becoming dependant on them. It also gets your horse trained. :)
Make no mistake that horses live in the present moment. They really do know what that means. We do our best to understand it but mostly we don’t fully get it yet. But that’s ok. We can be a work in progress on that. The idea to embrace fully is that our horses are always waiting for us in the still space where hearts and minds connect outside or our personal wants, needs and projections. However skilled you are as a rider, if you miss this you still have work to do because it’s as important if not more so than whether you’re slightly out of balance, have a bit of a scoliosis or don’t understand the technicalities of a shoulder-in.
I think a reason we are so drawn to horses is they are so clearly pointing the way home to ourselves, but somewhere along the way we get confused and can be led astray by our egoic minds version of what that means. With the best of intention we can unconsciously weave this idea into yet another kind of fairy tale story where there is no ugliness in the world and only harmony. The place in which we can fully meet our horses is in the space of truth and truth includes everything. It doesn’t care about your ideas about it or how it should be. It just is.
This space of truth is the place where mistakes can be made, clumsiness forgiven, ideology doesn’t exist, honesty can prevail, love can shine and yes, training can occur. And training of some kind must occur for horses to be given a fair chance to thrive in our human world without fear and confusion. The good news is that even if it’s a bit ugly on occasions it can all happen without compromise if it comes from this space of honesty. We can honour the importance of the training AND honour the laws of nature from our deepest place of wisdom and compassion for the sake of both ourselves and our horses. This is the space where we can be with our horses through it all, even the icky stuff without judgement of self or other. Now with inquisitiveness and the truth of cause and effect as our guides. This can feel a little unforgiving sometimes and hard to be with but if we atre brave enougb to stay there and listen the answers often reveal themselves.
In the name of curiosity, next time you are working with your horse, take a look, in that moment at what you're thinking because your current thought is creating your current experience.
I have an idea to write some more on this stuff in the New Year. Perhaps a series in which we could look at how we can access this place in ourselves easier in amongst the stresses and strains of life. It’s been such an important and time of deep realisation for me that has been greeted with such positivity from all the horse’s I interact with, I simply feel compelled to share it. Please could I ask that perhaps you would also share it on with anyone you think it might resonate with. It’s my feeling that the more people these kind of ideas reach the better for us all and our horses.
For now… Wishing you all a peaceful Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year :)